Foreword to Angry Men; Managing Anger in an Unforgiving World
by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman

Nothing is so strong as gentleness; nothing is so gentle as real strength.
-Francis DeSales

My father once told me that a true “gentleman” was a man who was capable of being gentle. As far as he was concerned, a male who could not control his anger was not gentle, and he was not a man. My dad was a military veteran, had served a tour with the CIA, and spent most of his life as a cop, starting on the beat and retiring as a chief. He knew what it meant to be a man.

Over the years, I have been a paratrooper, sergeant, a U.S. Army Ranger, an infantry company commander, and a West Point psychology professor. For almost a quarter of a century, I led U.S. soldiers on operations around the world. Today, I am the author of books On Killing and On Combat, which are used by warrior organizations worldwide. I travel almost 300 days a year, training military and law enforcement organizations. I have trained elite warriors from the FBI, the Green Berets, the U.S. Navy SEALS, the LAPD, SWAT, and many, many others.

In working with all these elite organizations, I have come to learn that my dad was right. The real mark of a man is his ability to control his temper. If you cannot control your temper, then you are not a man. But “if you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, then you, my son, are a man.”

I sincerely believe that the world today is more demanding, more stressful, and more unforgiving than it has ever been in history. Managing anger in this unforgiving world is a key survival skill, and that is what this book is all about.

We have cause to be angry.

We face lies, hypocrisy, cheating, injustice, grudges, unfairness, wrongdoings, betrayals, deceit, defiance, rejection, revenge, misunderstandings, threats and other challenges every day.

Anger in response to these challenges is perfectly natural. But uncontrolled anger is absolutely counterproductive and self-destructive.

Anger can destroy your life. Even righteous anger. Not because of anger itself, but because of how you deal with it. The more difficulty you have managing anger, the more you risk letting anger take away your money, your job, your wife, your friends—and your self-respect. In this book, you will see how easily that happens.

The greater the stress and pressure you live with, the more you need to read this book. Men with the toughest jobs—soldiers, firefighters, marines, police, state patrol, prison guards, construction workers, security guards, EMTs, emergency doctors, pilots, detectives, reporters, airport security, bosses, athletes, counselors, teachers, bouncers, and many others—need it.